


he was the sun, always shining in my heart in the darkest times

by pastelcandies



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelcandies/pseuds/pastelcandies
Summary: Roman isn’t good enough, he knows that. His boyfriend knows differently.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	he was the sun, always shining in my heart in the darkest times

**Author's Note:**

> nobody-is-evil on tumblr submitted “Can you write Dukeceit or Royality with the creativity going through some sort of burnout?“ and I tried my best with it :)

Through the open windows, the sky was no longer black, now tinged with the faintest tint of light blue, the distant stars fading. Roman glanced at the window, his anxious expression growing panicked. Around the room hundreds of stray pieces of paper with messy red scribbled writing were lying around, but none of the ideas were good. They weren’t enough; he wasn’t enough. No matter how late he was staying up, how many words and paragraphs and pages he jotted down, none of it was enough. At best, they were undoable fever dreams; at worst, they were incomprehensible. Though he tried to suppress it, tears started streaming down his face in frustration. Angrily, he wiped them away and stared out the window, begging the stars to grant him some sort of inspiration, an idea, a piece of art he could create and be proud of. For if he didn’t create, what was he worth? He was Creativity, he was the fanciful side, his purpose was to have Thomas accomplish his dreams and to make art he was proud of, that all of them were proud of. 

He was so disheartened. By now, all he wanted to do was crawl into the covers and sleep for the rest of his life. He wasn’t any good; he wasn’t worth anything, Thomas and the others deserved a better Creativity. He was exhausted from wearing a smile every day, like it was a worn-out piece of clothing. Drained, weary, exhausted, he couldn’t achieve his sole purpose: Creating art.

Someone knocked on the door. In shock that anyone else was up at this hour, he didn’t reply, and the door swung open.

Entering, Patton looked rather exhausted, wearing a red sweater he had “borrowed” (read: stolen) from Roman which was far too big for him. The sight of his boyfriend made Roman smile, even in his miserable state.

“Hey there, my dearest.” Roman whispered, opening his arms for a hug. Patton collapsed in his arms, burying his face in his chest for a few minutes before looking up, round glasses crooked.

“Ro, why are you still awake?” Patton whispered, his voice heavy with sleep. 

Roman sighed, smoothing Patton’s bedhead. “I still need to think of an idea for Thomas’ next video. I haven’t found anything worthwhile, yet.” Recounting his predicament, his eyes were pricked with tears again.

“Sunshine,” Patton whispered, “you can’t get work done if you’re as exhausted as this. Come on, honey, let’s go to bed.”

His lover’s kind words only made Roman start crying harder. “Patton, if I don’t produce any ideas for Thomas, what good am I? I’m Creativity, that’s my entire job!”’

Gently, Patton reached up and wiped Roman’s tears away with his thumb. “My love, everything you’ve created is extraordinary. And I’m not only saying that because I’m your boyfriend; I’m saying it because I love you and everything you create. You’re perfect in every way. You’re enough, you’re more than enough. I love you and I care about you very much. Please, let’s get some sleep.”

Roman started crying again, but now in a different way. He pulled Patton closer to his chest, dropping a kiss to the top of his hair, feeling Patton smile at the action. When he finished crying, around five minutes later, he whispered hoarsely, “I love you too.”

Patton stood up, giving him a sleepy smile and, grabbing his hand, stacked the scribbled-on papers and set them on Roman’s desk. Turning the lamps off and the fairy lights on, he crawled under the covers, waiting for Roman to finish changing into his pajamas and join him. As Roman entered the bed, Patton held him close, Roman’s face in the crook of his neck. Roman’s final thought before he fell asleep seconds later was that, with Patton, his biggest reason to smile, here, maybe everything would be okay.

As sunlight streamed in through the windows they had forgotten to close, Roman blinked sleepily. He was cuddled up next to Patton, who was still asleep, his pale eyelashes almost touching his cheeks. Roman smiled at his love, brighter than the sunlight outside. Glancing at the clock, his eyes widened as he realized it was well into the afternoon. Eventually, he decided that was okay, and fell back asleep, holding Patton tightly.

Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr, @snowfall-and-stars, or on discord, winter#0972 🖤


End file.
